World So Cold
by Romalovi98
Summary: (Russia X China) Russia doesn't show up to a meeting with China. Concerned, China goes to look for Russia at his house. However he wasn't expecting what he encounters...
1. Chapter 1

China banged on Russia's door. He knew something was wrong he had cold the other country almost six times with no answer. Someone _always_ answered. It was impossible that none of Russia's household servants hadn't answered the phone. Lithuania was always near; hanging around Russia like a shadow. China shook off the feeling in the pit of his stomach at that thought. China didn't like Russia, not really. It was just convenient to be allies. Just ours, that's what China had told his boss and Russia several times.

"Ivan let me into this damn house aru!" China shouted hammering on the door even harder. He somehow knew in his gut that something was off. Russia was supposed to meet up with China and China's boss. The other country had never been absent before. Without fail Russia had stood waiting with that menacing rusty pipe. This time though, China had waited for minutes, which had turned into hours, and no one had showed up. That was when he called the house only to get no answer. After calling back several times China had decided to heck with it and came over here.

When China arrived at the house all the lights were off and an eerie silence had fallen over the house. Now no one was answering the door. China made a decision quickly, before really thinking it over. He threw his shoulder up against the door as hard as he could. If he had stopped to think about it too much, he would have second guessed himself. Breaking into Russia's house was normally really not a good idea, but today was not normal.

China was surprised when the door gave on his second try. The lock busted off and China nearly fell to the ground as the door swung open. The house was silent and dark on the inside just like the outside. As China made his way into the house the sound of his own footsteps reverberated of the entrance hall's walls. From what he could tell nothing was out of place. The entrance led into a long hallway with several closed doors. these were mainly where Lithuania, Latvia, and Estonia stayed. China also knew that there was a bathroom and an entrance to the basement off of this hallway. He had been in the basement a few times and those were not exactly pleasant memories.

Beyond the hallway there was a drawing room. It was empty as China peeked inside. The desks at abandoned, still covered by papers and a few open books. The furniture looked strikingly untouched in contrast. China considered this for a second, but then realized with a dry laugh that Russia would never entertain any of his guests in the drawing room. He just wasn't that type of person. China moved on to the downstairs; he passed through a living room that was almost too plain and simple. White couches and wooden end tables sat there completely free of dust. The whole thing felt very sterile. It just added to the overall feeling of cold this place had.

China Dan made his way into the kitchen. It was large and mostly cast iron, granite counter tops were polished to perfection. Then he noticed an oddity. There were a couple of broken glasses on the glorious counter top. It was not surprising that there was broken glass; Russia had a very bad temper just under his coat exterior. Once he had broken a bottle over a worker's head just for looking at him the wrong way. What was strange was that the glass was still there. Surely one of the house servants would have cleaned up the mess. As China walked further into the kitchen, shards of glass crunched under his shoes.

"What the hell," China murmured as he stared at the decimated glassware and shattered plates. China hadn't seen it when he first turned the corner, but there was along the back wall of the kitchen. The cabinet doors were flung open and every dish or fancy wine glasses were missing. The glassware was shattered across the floor and the fine china was smashed against the far wall. Pieces of the broken plates were gathered a t the bottom of the wall; the jagged broken edges creating a dangerous landscape.

Something was definitely wrong here. Where was everybody? China wanted to find Russian now. He knew that something had happened and he was worried. 'And _why_ am I worried about Russia? Seriously what has he ever done for me? China shook the questions from his mind this was about being concerned for a fellow nation, nothing else.

"Russia?! Where are you?" China decided to go upstairs. He climbed the large spiral staircase and reached the second floor as a huge crash sounded down the hall. How did I miss that? China wondered. He made his way down the lonely hallway; it was eerie quiet after the thunderous sound from earlier. China found himself in front of a door he knew well. It was normally sealed shut with a lock. He has asked Latvia about it once but he had just brushed it off. As he entered through the flung open door, he now saw that it was a greenhouse. It was a legit greenhouse with huge windows to let in sunlight and artificial heat lamps. The only thing missing were the plants. Where the plants should have been were now bear shelving and empty planters pots. As he looked to the ground he found the missing flowers.

There were hundreds of dead sunflowers littering the floor. Some of the flowers had been ripped from their stems. Others were missing their wilted petals; which had been violently torn out. The shriveled remains sprinkled across the floor like rotten snow. In the middle if the china found the metal pipe. It looked out of placed in the dim lighting, but added to the discontinuity of the situations. Especially when he noticed the bright red blood on the tip of the curved pipe. It was _fresh blood_. It could be anybody's but it surely was not a good sign.


	2. Chapter 2

At this rate China should have turned around and left; that was what his brain told him to do. However his legs kept moving forward. He kept heading straight for the prone form sitting in the corner. China almost didn't recognize Russia; curled up with his knees pulled up to his chest pulled up to his chest. His face was blank and his eyes were distant.

"R-russia?" China's voice came out as a low breath. He was scared. He was scared of the empty house, of the blank expression on Russia's face, and of the fresh blood. He was afraid to disturb the creepy silence by speaking above a whisper. Russia sat motionless for a moment. China's heart sped up. He could hear it thumping loudly in his ears. Thump thump thump.

Suddenly Russia's head jerked up. His face remained blank as his eyes focused on China. When they finally focused on him, Russia's eyes flickered with surprise. It seemed like his mind was slowly rebooting. After a few more tense moments Russia pulled his legs away from his chest and stretched them out in front of him. China's eyes widened and he unconsciously stepped back from him; nearly tripping over his own feet.

Russia's long trench coat was splattered with gobs of blood that let off the scent of thick copper. Even his white scarf was speckled in blood, like a grotesque polka dot pattern. China's stomach clenched and he felt sick. Oh come on, China thought, I knew he was capable of something like this. Hell, even China himself had once done so… China shook his head. That was the past He could control his own actions now; the Dynasty era was over.

"China?" Russia spoke softly too, "Why are you here?" China made himself stand there in front of Russia. He wanted to flee now. He wished he had followed his earlier instincts and had turned around then, but he couldn't do that now. China straightened his back and clasped his shaking hands together.

"You didn't show up to our meeting, aru." China kneeled down next to Russia, Trying to ignore the blood on him. "What happened to you?" It was weird to be this close to him. China was only a few inches away from the other nation. His gaze met with Russia's for a moment, his eyes gazed at Russia's piercing purple eyes. They were cast in in shadow and looked hard. He didn't say anything; just pressed his lips together in a hard line. "Come on tell what happened. I know something is wrong. What is the problem?" China wanted to hurry up and get out of here. It was a mistake coming here, China was feeling strange. He was hyper aware of the other nation. He felt Russia's eyes on him, even after he had looked away.

Russia smiled chillingly, "Oh you want to talk about problems? Tell me then, how are your little micro-nations. When is the last time you talked to Japan?" China sat back, his muscles tensed as Russia's words hit home like a physical punch.

Memories flooded back to China. He remembered finding Japan as a small nation hardly able to care for himself. China had taken him along with Taiwan, Hong Kong, and later Korea. He had taken care of Japan in and taught him China's very own language. The two of them had spent countless hours making up stories to remember the meaning of each symbol. China loved Japan like his own child; they had all been happy together. A real family. Then is all changed. Japan pulled away, made his own traditions, and made his own language. Anything to be different from China. One day Japan finally just left; he said he was his own nation now. He said he didn't need China holding him back anymore. When China had tried to stop him, Japan had raised that damn Samurai sword against him. Against the very one who had taught him to use it, to even give it to Japan. After that the other micro-nations had lest too. China lost his family; he was once again alone.

The memories were relentless and came in waves at the mention of his name; with them came anger. China turned to face Russia fully. He glared at the icy younger nation. "Don't ever mention him again. You don't have the right to talk to me about that! You know nothing. You just a bitter grievous nation and man with a fucking frozen heart!" He stopped, out of breath and blinking back tears. Damn it, he hated Russia with every fiber of his being. The man could always bust the worst of his buttons. It's like Russia had a sixth sense for weakness and he always pounced on it. No mercy, that's what Russia was.

The man in question had grown very still. His legs were now crossed in front of him. He looked like an overgrown petulant child. Except he had this weird smile on his face. It was all teeth and sort of creepy. It didn't reach his desolate eyes. China's almost tears evaporated and his blood ran cold. Why was he even still here? China started to climb to his feet, planning to leave. Russia's hand shot out and closed around his arm. Everything next happened in a blur.


	3. Chapter 3

Russia's iron grip was on his arm so tight it was painful. China was yanked backwards landing upright on something soft, Russia's lap. He still had an iron grip on China, but now on his shoulder. China was also now facing him, practically pressed completely against Russia's body.

Russia leaned forward and whispered, "You know there is way to forget your problems." China sat very rigid; his mind going black. Russia's breath was hot against his neck. It sent a clenching feeling through China and he hated it. China tried to wriggle out of Russia's grip, but Russia held on. "Do you think you would ever get so bothered like that over me? Tell me Yao, what would it take to put that in your eye at the mere mention of my name? Russia's eyes were practically glowing violet. He loomed over China, his presence entirely menacing and dominating. He crashed his lips into china's lips. He kissed China with the ferocity of a drowning man. Like China with something to be devoured and conquered. His lips moved greedily and savagely. He wrapped his arms around China; gripping the other nations waste. It was surprisingly slim for belonging to a male, but China was sturdy if nothing else. He had been through too much not to be.

China, for his own part had completely stopped moving. He sat there in surprise, if not complete shock. Well maybe not shock, but he still was caught off guard. Russia took his lack of struggle as a good thing o he just didn't care. He bit down on China's lower lip hard. China gasped in pain and Russia slipped his tongue into China's mouth. He tugged China closer to him; practically pulling the older country into him. China's eyes widened at the closer contact. His own mind was now a whirlwind of confusion. It was like having static in his mind. He felt Russia's body pressed right against his own, but the contact felt strange. Russia was normally so icy, even to the tough. It was like he was entirely encased in an unshakable chill. Now though, his touch felt warm and electric, sending different kind of chills though China.

Russia finally pulled away from the relentless kiss. His eyes were still blazing with something. Was it want? Lust for power? China wasn't entirely sure, but whatever it was it was intense and very prevalent. Russia wore a sardonic grin. It was more a flashing of white teeth then an actual smile.

"I want to have you, now," Russia said it almost apathetically. His voice was flat; only his eyes were lively. China could almost see the thought forming in Russia's eyes, I want to_ own_ you. Russia slid his hands down China's back. China shitted trying to lean away from hm. China's fingers grazed the top of China's black ants; then started to slip into the back of them.

China gasped and shoved Russia away with all his strength. Russia fell back a few inches, but caught himself. Now he had a look of determination on his face. He tried to grab for China again; fingers reaching undeterred by the rejection. China bought his hand down on Russia's face; his open palm hitting Russia's face with a loud smack!

"Stop it Russia!" China yelled, "I'm not something for you to conquer on a whim. I'm not some distraction to use to forget your troubles. I'm a person, not your fucking property!" Russia sat the looking surprised for a second. China scooted away from him angrily. Russia's eyes were no longer electric; instead they were dazed and almost sad. China wasn't buying it though. Russia was just a really good manipulator. China should have known better than to come here. He started to get to his feet.

Whatever Russia was going through, China would just leave him to go through it himself. China was not going to just sit here and take this. He was worth more than that, but damn he felt like a fool. He had let Russia take things too far because China was feeling bad for him. China's mind was starting to lose some of the haze of anger; he felt fuzzy and just plain tired. He just needed to get out of here and get some time to himself to think. China was on his feet now facing away from Russia. He really didn't want to see Russia's forlorn face. He started to walk away and he felt a light cool hand grasp his arm. This time the grip was light; Russia was barely holding on.

"Wait Yao...", Russia spoke softly, which strangely enough had a stronger effect on China than yelling would have. Plus Russia kept using his name, it was disconcerting. China paused for a moment, he needed to go. All his senses were on overdrive. His instincts were telling him to go! Leave while he still could. However the sound of Russia's voice, forlorn and almost desperate, made China stopped in his tracks. Prussia wasn't supposed to sound like that. He was always so cold and mean. He was strong, scary, and unbreakable. He was all the things a powerful nation needed to be, including ruthless. Now though, he just sounded pitiful. China didn't want to feel pity for him; he didn't want to feel anything for Russia. If anything he should feel put off that his 'ally' was showing weakness.

Instead he was standing here instead of getting the hell out of here. "Please don't go", Russia was almost whispering, "I need someone. I don't want to be alone..." China stood there not knowing what to say; not knowing what to do. He had never heard Russia say something like that before. Not to his sisters, not to his servants, not to anyone.

China sighed loudly and plopped down next to Russia. He leaned against the wall. Russia looked over at him. his face was still uncharacteristically open, but he looked less desperate. China knew something must had happened and he knew he was going to sit here until Russia explained it all. China sighed again. He was so tired, but he couldn't leave Russia here like this. He really didn't want to think too deeply about was so worried about Russia, but something stopped him from leaving.

"Ok Russia, since we aren't getting anywhere by sitting here like this, why not just tell me what happened? I know something happened." China said trying to keep the exasperation out of his voice. Russia didn't say anything at first; he just sat there looking off into the distance. China sat for a few minutes awkwardly until the silence got defining. "Come on Russia. I am trying to help in some way but if you are just going to silently, well than I will just-"

"I killed someone today." Russia cut China off. China closed his mouth and didn't speak himself for a few minutes. Killing someone was not exactly shocking considering Russia had a lot of enemies. However something about this felt different. Not to mention the blood all over Russia spoke volumes.

"Um well that's not good. Do you want to talk about what happened", China tried to speak carefully. This was new territory for him; actually trying to talk to Russia like a friend. Russia looked down at his hands. They had actually started to tremble a little. China looked at Russia long and hard; his face was pale and his eyes were beginning to go far away again. For the second time that day China acted without thinking. China reached out and grabbed Russia's hand. "Ivan stay here. Stay in the now... with me." China spoke softly and squeezed his hand. Russia looked up startled, but then after a few heartbeats went by he squeezed China's hand in return.

**Authors Note:** Thank you for reading this story so far. This is one of my favorite pairings :) I hope you enjoyed this chapter, it was interesting to write. Feedback is always appreciated. Thanks again for reading!


	4. Chapter 4

China sat up straighter as he spoke, "Tell me what happened. Who did you kill?" Even after mentally preparing to say the words they still caught in his throat. Someone was dead. China already had the feeling that it wasn't just a human who was dead. Would he really kill another nation? For a fleeting second Russia's sisters faces flashed into his mind. Was Belarus lying bloody somewhere in this house? Or even Ukraine? They were both fully grown now, but China imagined them as they had been when they were smaller. Belarus always exuded off such a dark menace, despite being a tiny girl with piercing eyes. In truth she scared China with how territorial she was towards her older brother, but at the same time the two were very similar. Ukraine on the other hand was so naive. Men were always leering at her because of her figure and China had witnessed several times where Russia had lost his temper over it. Despite their differences in nature they were a family, one that at times China envied. Russia fiercely cared about his family in his own way because they were his. "Are Belarus and Ukraine um ok?" China probed carefully. It's not like he could flat out ask did you lose it and kill one of you sisters?

Russia looked at him blankly and laughed a hard dry bark, "My sisters aren't dead if that's what you're asking." A slow chill went through China. He grasped for the right thing to say, but he had to admit that this was one of the first conversations like this he'd had in his many years. He pulled away from Russia slightly with a sigh. This was getting nowhere. Russia still had those walls of ice up around him. Sure he had let them slip for a fleeting moment, but what did that really mean? Why would he let China inside? China started to feel foolish again for thinking that anything had changed.

"Fine", China muttered pulling his hand from Russia's, "If you're not going to talk to me then I can't help you." Russia looked at him; face broken and so very pale, his mouth was drawn together tight as he clenched his jaw. His purple eyes were rimmed red and wide as he just shook his head slowly. _You can't help me_. That's what that look said. He recognized that look from soldiers that had fought in deplorable places. It was a look that held no hope, a look that had lost faith in some ounce of goodness or higher power. There was a difference between those soldiers and Russia though; they had witnessed something terrible and this time Russia had caused it. China swallowed audibly and whispered, "What the hell did you do?"

"You won't understand." Russia muttered grinning minutely. "You're the type of man who doesn't have to fight to stay in power. Nobody challenges you. Nobody has control of your every move." China looked at him incredulously, was Russia kidding him? China was a huge country; he had an ever growing population that he had to control. His boss was all about rising in power, even though they were always tight on money. Not to mention that even though China was so large, other countries were always undermining him. They thought he was weak.

"I understand being challenged. The others always assume because I'm older I am weak. They target me and I have to fend off attacks. I have to prove that I'm not weak. I've done some bad stuff before." China's mind began to wonder back to his own dark past. He would like to believe that he had been forced to do a lot of those things. But deep down inside they still haunted him, he knew that one day he would have to answer for his sins, for all the blood that was on his hands as a nation as old as he was. Sometimes he was afraid that he was running out of time; he felt a looming darkness just beyond the horizon that could only be death. China pulled himself out of his own musings. He was here dealing with the current crisis, not exactly the optimal time to be doing self-reflection. "Look either way keeping things bottled up isn't going to fix anything right? So just tell me what happened."

Russia sneered, "Tell you? So you can judge me? Or so you can look at me like I'm a monster? You should have seen their faces. Belarus was terrified, she started shaking and backed away from me. Ukraine just sat there screaming and screaming. They were all there just the way it was ordered. They all saw me kill him."

Gooseflesh formed on China's neck, "w-who?" The bloodied pipe flashed in his voice and his voice came out as a shaky whisper, which annoyed him. Even after all this time he was still afraid to hear who was dead. It was the fact that there was a nation out there that had been knocked out of existence, wiped off the face of the planet. It would only take a matter of days for someone to encroach on the former country's territory. It was now considered fair game as unclaimed territory and so were the land's inhabitants. China swallowed and when he asked again his voice was stronger, "Russia, who is dead?"

Russia looked him dead in the eyes and finally answered the question, "It was Lithuania. I bludgeoned in Lithuania's head in front of the entire household." China was silent.


End file.
